Send Her Flowers to Show Her You...
With the marketing push of Valentine's day in full motion and since a few friends asked me this weekend, "what happened with that one girl?" ...here you go.
Since around the second week of January, every time I hear or read about sending people flowers I am reminded of this insane thing that happened to me. I sent some tulips to the workplace of this woman I had been dating. I figured it was probable that she would react negatively; it was a calculated risk, but I never expected this.
Just understand that 99% of what she wrote is fabricated. Her way of telling me that she didn't want to date me was to feed me lines like, "I get the impression you're annoyed by me," "you think we don't have chemistry," and "you're not interested in me." She never said anything like "no" or "I do not want to date you." She could have saved herself and me some trouble if she had. Instead, I wanted to show her that all of those negative statements she was projecting onto me were not true and I sent the flowers. The plan was approved by a female friend of mine.
After the flowers were delivered, I sent her a followup email asking for another chance and explaining why I did not want to be "just friends" (a suggestion she had made). Her reply was so amazingly insane that I can still see the words framed in my email reader: "...maybe you're not aware of the extent of the law, so this is your one freebie...I know my rights...I am not threatened by you." Threatened by flowers?!?!
She had mentioned on several occasions that she had a blog, so I sought it out expecting to find posts about her lifelong struggle with schizophrenia or something. At first it was distressing to read some of that stuff, but I kept up on it for several days because it became so ridiculous as to be entertaining. As if some crazy 35 year old virgin who had been dropped on his head as a baby was obsessed with her, and she played an entirely passive, innocent role in the whole ordeal, right!
I guess I should have heard the alarm bells ringing when she asked me during one of our dates, "have you ever hit a woman?" She's got issues with male figures in her past (she hinted about them a few times) and she was going to paint me as the victimizer whether I wanted to play that role or not. "You're not interested in me" was her way of telling me she did not want to date me and making it look as though I was the protagonist.
On the bright side, I spent $50 on flowers to basically get her to air out her baggage. If I could spend 50 bucks to get women to air out their baggage up front I would do it every time. Her reaction was a bonus in that way, and I got 1,000 Worldperks miles from the flower company for my troubles too. Still, I guess I'll be thinking twice before I send someone flowers again.
For the record, the part about the Oscar Wilde quote on the flower note was the 1% of truth in her post. It was, "Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives." Ha.
Since around the second week of January, every time I hear or read about sending people flowers I am reminded of this insane thing that happened to me. I sent some tulips to the workplace of this woman I had been dating. I figured it was probable that she would react negatively; it was a calculated risk, but I never expected this.
Just understand that 99% of what she wrote is fabricated. Her way of telling me that she didn't want to date me was to feed me lines like, "I get the impression you're annoyed by me," "you think we don't have chemistry," and "you're not interested in me." She never said anything like "no" or "I do not want to date you." She could have saved herself and me some trouble if she had. Instead, I wanted to show her that all of those negative statements she was projecting onto me were not true and I sent the flowers. The plan was approved by a female friend of mine.
After the flowers were delivered, I sent her a followup email asking for another chance and explaining why I did not want to be "just friends" (a suggestion she had made). Her reply was so amazingly insane that I can still see the words framed in my email reader: "...maybe you're not aware of the extent of the law, so this is your one freebie...I know my rights...I am not threatened by you." Threatened by flowers?!?!
She had mentioned on several occasions that she had a blog, so I sought it out expecting to find posts about her lifelong struggle with schizophrenia or something. At first it was distressing to read some of that stuff, but I kept up on it for several days because it became so ridiculous as to be entertaining. As if some crazy 35 year old virgin who had been dropped on his head as a baby was obsessed with her, and she played an entirely passive, innocent role in the whole ordeal, right!
I guess I should have heard the alarm bells ringing when she asked me during one of our dates, "have you ever hit a woman?" She's got issues with male figures in her past (she hinted about them a few times) and she was going to paint me as the victimizer whether I wanted to play that role or not. "You're not interested in me" was her way of telling me she did not want to date me and making it look as though I was the protagonist.
On the bright side, I spent $50 on flowers to basically get her to air out her baggage. If I could spend 50 bucks to get women to air out their baggage up front I would do it every time. Her reaction was a bonus in that way, and I got 1,000 Worldperks miles from the flower company for my troubles too. Still, I guess I'll be thinking twice before I send someone flowers again.
For the record, the part about the Oscar Wilde quote on the flower note was the 1% of truth in her post. It was, "Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives." Ha.
posted by Andy at
11:31 AM
1 Comments:
Sounds like she needs a gun.
By
Anonymous, At
7:27 AM
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