Logs and Parfaits In the Park
Why is it every piece of mail I receive arrives in pristine condition except for the one that says, "do not bend?" My 8x10 print of Estadio Azteca from Snapfish.com has a nice crease through the middle. What in the goddam fuck does a guy got to do to get a break? I just need to stop buying things.
If I had a million dollars, I would sue the fuck out of people. I would sue companies too. The reason? People are assholes, and assholes deserve to be sued. I would sue my neighbor for being an asshole. I would sue my boss because he wears pleated dress pants that make his ass look like a fluffy pillow. I would sue every phone company for their bad customer service. I would sue Debbie Gibson for ruining my teenage fantasy of her by becoming a Bible thumper. It turns out I can shake your love, baby.
Ha fucking ha ha, it finally happened! Today we had a mandatory meeting at work to explain to everyone that some of our servers had been sabotaged. This is on the heels of two of my coworkers getting fired this week for undisclosed reasons. I have warned people here at work several times that the biggest security threat to our systems is not hackers in China like they think, but people here in the building. Within the last two weeks, we have had an intern accidentally shut off our database server, a Windows server that was compromised in such a way that a dude was fired (you pretty much have to be serving kiddie porn or something equally bad to get fired around here), and now a disgruntled employee or two have allegedly sabotaged a server. What's funny about it all is that one of the major projects I am working on is to build redundancy into some of our systems so that they can tolerate hardware failures. No amount of redundancy can cover up for bad physical security. So I can spend the rest of my life making sure that a server can withstand a network failure, a power outage, or a hard drive failure but it can all come crashing down when someone walks into the server room and unplugs the server.
I'm not pissed though. It is hilarious seeing everyone running around being secretive and gossiping and stuff. I feel like Jack Nicholson's character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, watching with glee as all the crazies run around and make a mess.
I take my dog to an off-leash park after work every day. Every day there, she poops twice. The first time it is the standard dog log. The second time she makes more of a parfait, gooey with maybe a green or yellow dollop on top. I call it "Logs and Parfaits In the Park."
If I had a million dollars, I would sue the fuck out of people. I would sue companies too. The reason? People are assholes, and assholes deserve to be sued. I would sue my neighbor for being an asshole. I would sue my boss because he wears pleated dress pants that make his ass look like a fluffy pillow. I would sue every phone company for their bad customer service. I would sue Debbie Gibson for ruining my teenage fantasy of her by becoming a Bible thumper. It turns out I can shake your love, baby.
Ha fucking ha ha, it finally happened! Today we had a mandatory meeting at work to explain to everyone that some of our servers had been sabotaged. This is on the heels of two of my coworkers getting fired this week for undisclosed reasons. I have warned people here at work several times that the biggest security threat to our systems is not hackers in China like they think, but people here in the building. Within the last two weeks, we have had an intern accidentally shut off our database server, a Windows server that was compromised in such a way that a dude was fired (you pretty much have to be serving kiddie porn or something equally bad to get fired around here), and now a disgruntled employee or two have allegedly sabotaged a server. What's funny about it all is that one of the major projects I am working on is to build redundancy into some of our systems so that they can tolerate hardware failures. No amount of redundancy can cover up for bad physical security. So I can spend the rest of my life making sure that a server can withstand a network failure, a power outage, or a hard drive failure but it can all come crashing down when someone walks into the server room and unplugs the server.
I'm not pissed though. It is hilarious seeing everyone running around being secretive and gossiping and stuff. I feel like Jack Nicholson's character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, watching with glee as all the crazies run around and make a mess.
I take my dog to an off-leash park after work every day. Every day there, she poops twice. The first time it is the standard dog log. The second time she makes more of a parfait, gooey with maybe a green or yellow dollop on top. I call it "Logs and Parfaits In the Park."
posted by Andy at
8:32 PM
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