Today I learned that the long hose that firefighting helicopters with onboard tanks use to suck up water is called the "donkey dick." Obviously the name comes from the appearance of the hose, but I tried to come up with an acronym for it. There was an interview on the radio this morning where the interviewee pronounced the acronym WRFA as "werfa." It reminded me of how some people pronounce all acronyms as words while others do only if it sounds good. I'm sure the guy got tired of saying W-R-F-A all the time and had to switch to werfa, but he sounded kinda dorky. He sounded like he was trying to warn everyone in the room that he was about to fart or something. Anyway, so what does DONKEYDICK stand for?

The best I could do was DNKEDC - Dirigible Nautical Kit for Extinguishing Delinquent Campfires. Usage example: If it weren't for the donkey dick, our vacation would have been ruined.

Perhaps you can do better...

Speaking of acronyms, the latest TITSUP (Tantalizing Information Tidbit on a Sad, Unfortunate Passing) news is about Pope John Paul II, who went tits up about two years ago. It seems he is on the fast track to sainthood, in part because of a miracle that was attributed to his buried corpse. Some nun prayed to him and found herself cured of parkinson's disease. Now there is a dossier about it and committee meetings to discuss the beatification and canonization of the former pope. WTF? A miracle? If there is such a formal process with dossiers and shit for canonizing people as saints, does it include investigation into the validity and feasibility of the claims? What if they make him a saint and she gets her parkinson's back? Shit, I'm going to start praying to the tits up pope to see if my hair will grow back.