Planning for Your Future: How to Invest in Foreign Wars

When Congress authorized the President to invade Iraq, I remember thinking, "has anyone specified a means to an end and considered the cost?" What struck me most is how willing the "fiscal conservatives" of the Republican party were so willing to write a blank check. It is further frustrating now to hear of politicians calling for an exit strategy when that should have been discussed to some extent prior to invading.

Think back to the President's original justification for the invasion: terrorism. He never really said that Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda were linked, but he used both names in the same sentences so as to give people the impression that they were. Now there are millions of people walking around still believing that Hussein was somehow helping bin Laden crash those planes.

When the al Qaeda link was debunked, "weapons of mass destruction" became the reason for the invasion. We don't know what kind of weapons they are, but they sure sound bad. No WMDs were found and a claim by the President that Hussein had sought plutonium from Niger was debunked. Finally, in his 2004 state of the union address, it was all about democracy and fighting the people who hate freedom.

It took 40 years for a stable democracy to take hold in South Korea after the Korean War. We're still maintaining a presence in the former Yugoslavian states ten years after the US-led NATO invasion. The prospects for stable, democratic governments in some of those states are few. Unlike the situation in Iraq, however, we've got the help of NATO to help defray the burden.

Where is it going to end in Iraq? How many lives? How many dollars? Is there a point where it gets to be too much? These are questions that should have been addressed before the invasion took place. Anyone who considers himself a fiscal conservative should have been debating these things before he supported the invasion. A war is not the sort of thing you rush into without considering the cost and the consequences.

Parallels

Married men and gay men
The married man sits at home and watches Desperate Housewives. He goes out to theater and orchestra, drinks wine, and takes the toy dog for walks. He realizes on some subconscious level that if he didn't do these things his wife would do them with her gay friends instead. So the married man competes with the gay man by, in effect, becoming gay. And then he overcompensates by making gay jokes about other men and voting for Bush (pun intended).

Women in their 40's and male crossdressers
Here's one that's sure to offend. Both have a facial hair problem and both struggle to maintain a feminine physique. How do you tell a crossdresser from the woman? The crossdresser has a better wardrobe.

Catholic priests and computer geeks
Whenever you see one of these people, chances are it has only been a matter of minutes since their hand last touched their peenie. When you shake their hand, you are one very small step removed from having had sexual contact with them. Both have fetishes, and I'm not talking about Jesus. With priests, it is young boys and girls. With computer geeks it is women dressed as warrior princesses or elves from a fantasy game. The next time you grasp the hand of one of these individuals, remember that you are grasping the hand that grasped the boner that erected itself under the stimulation of a pornographic picture of someone in costume.

Cappucino Considerations

Finding a joint that knows how to make a proper cappiccino is like taking your Subaru in for service and getting a loaner car whose radio won't tune in MPR. Who do they think they are kidding?

I think it has something to do with America's taste for the bland. Budweiser is bland and weak. Pop music is bland and repetitive. Chain restaurants like Noodles & Company and Applebee's are bland. Movies and actors are bland copies of other movies and actors. So you go to the coffee shop and your espresso drink is bland, like a glass of warm milk with foam. I heard another coffee snob say once that Startbucks is not in the coffee business, they are in the milk drink business. Milk with chocolate, milk with sugar, milk with caramel. Milk with flavor shots. Anything but coffee.

In a good cappuccino, you should be able to taste the coffee. Part of the problem, I suppose, is that at 20 ounces the whole milk plus froth plus espresso equation doesn't really work out. The froth doesn't stand a chance. A 20 oz cappuccino, which is the size of the Starbucks "venti," should have 7 oz of froth. By the time you're one third done with the drink, the froth has reduced to liquid. At that point, you're drinking just milk and espresso.

The local chain Dunn Bros is the only place I've found that consistently makes good cappuccinos. They use more espresso and sometimes they even ask me if I like it "wet" or "dry" (more espresso or more milk). I'm not a big fan of coffee jargon, but at least they care. I think I'm going to switch to ordering small sized drinks. I like to have a big one to carry around with me and the caffeine never really affects me, but maybe I'll find the taste to be better.

Corporate Welfare

The New York Times ran an article today that illustrates how natural gas production companies may have underpaid the federal government in royalties for drilling on government land. On page two of the article there is also mention of "lucrative new incentives to companies that drill in the Gulf of Mexico and other high-risk areas." So not only are they ripping us off on royalties, but they are getting paid by the government to do it.

The Bush administration has created the largest government this country has ever seen. I don't care if the money is going to contractors in Iraq, gas companies, or overstaffed government agencies. The fact is that the government is spending more money than it ever has before. How can anyone who considers his or herself a fiscal conservative support this government?

In addition to subsidizing gas production, the government subsidizes the mining and timber industries (google it, there are several links). Depending on where you live, you pay for trash removal either through city fees or taxes or directly to the sanitation company. Also depending on where you live, you may have recycling services and they may or may not be government subsidized. Either way, you're paying for trash removal and you're probably paying for recycling. Both involve the removal of waste materials from your home. Yet recycling is often considered the wasteful government program while trash removal is considered a necessary evil. The worst part is that without government subsidies, virgin materials would be more expensive and recycled materials would therefore be more cost competitive. Recycling might actually be a profitable operation for a government to administer.

I just got back from Northern Minnesota, where I've been helping my parents build a house for their retirement this summer. I've got at least 40 hours of tiling work into the place. They've got two big bathrooms and two entryways with tile on them. The real appeal of going up north is for my dog, however. She's a springer spaniel so she loves a jaunt in the woods looking and sniffing for birds and rodents in the bushes. It has gotten to the point where when I get up on Saturday mornings she sits in the kitchen looking at me and then looking at the top of the refrigerator where I keep her travel bag. It's as though she thinks she can convince me to just get in the car and take her up north!

I've been trying to get a sinus problem diagnosed for the past couple of years. I've figured out from researching on the internet and talking to people that it is sinusitis, a bacterial infection in the sinuses. The doctors at the clinic believed it was allergies and gave me Claritin and Allegra D, both of which did nothing for my symptoms and the latter of which knocked me out so much I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I finally got a referral to an allergy clinic and they've asked a lot of questions and done some tests on me. I fully expect them to tell me I have sinusitis when I return for the diagnosis next week.

Every time I go to a doctor appointment I am reminded of a trip to France I took back in 1998. One of the doors at a Metro station was malfunctioning and it swung back and hit me in the forehead after someone ahead of me had pushed it open to go through. I had a big bloody gash and I stood there applying pressure for five minutes trying to figure out what to do next. After the blood stopped running down my arm and dripping on the ground, I made my way back to the hotel and asked the concierge where to go. He pointed out an emergency room down the road, so I walked there. A nurse had me fill out a form and told me that since I was a tourist the national health care program wouldn't cover the cost. She then told me to go into a waiting room to wait for another nurse. I entered the room and the nurse was waiting for me. She took me into a room with various medical equipment and a doctor came in and put in some stitches. They were both very friendly, and they were curious about the battle between Pepsi and Coke. After the stitches, the doctor gave me a prescription for a tetanus shot and told me to walk across the street to buy it from the pharmacy there. I did so, returned so he could administer it, and left. It turned out to be a great experience because I got to see a part of France that most tourists do not. The bill was $60 for the stitches and another $3 for the shot. My rating for France's health care system: A+.

Cultural Boycotts?

The recent crisis with Iran and its nuclear research program has got some people calling for "cultural and sports boycotts" against the nation. Read more about it on CNN.

I was in Lyon, France in 1998 to see the USA - Iran World Cup match. The Iranian fans there were the warmest, most enthusiastic people I have ever met. It would be a crime to lock them out of another World Cup because of what their government is doing. No one punishes us for having a shitass president!

Soccer and government should remain separated. Governments divide people, the World Cup brings them together.

Looking Back to Understand the Present

There's an interesting series running on the History Channel this week about great American leaders. Monday night was about Lincoln, tonight is about Ben Franklin, and the remainder of the week is reserved for three parts about the presidents.

I watched the Lincoln part last night, and in the back of my mind two questions were lingering: 1) how does Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation compare to Bush's authorization of eavesdropping by the NSA without court approval and 2) how does our civil war compare to the one taking place in Iraq?

First, Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863, thereby freeing slaves in states that were rebelling, i.e., confederate states. Under normal circumstances he would not have had authority to do so. But since the country was in a state of war he used his executive powers as "...warranted by the Constitution upon military necessity." Obviously there is a parallel with Bush using similar military argument for authorizing NSA eavesdropping on American citizens without court approval. Gore Vidal, as author of Lincoln: A Novel he was a guest on the show, explained it in a humorous way when he explained that the war on terrorism is not really a war, it is like declaring war on dandruff. I would tend to agree with that statement, but any way you look at it it is interesting to have a historical perspective through which to view current events. It really outlines the severity of the situation back in 1863 as opposed to now.

That brings me to the second question. In light of what I wrote in a previous post about the Second Ammendment, what if another country had tampered in our civil war? Unlike the Revolutionary War, where the USA received supplies and naval support from France and the Netherlands (yes, they saved our asses once before we saved theirs in WWII), the Civil War was an internal conflict. I'm not trying to accept imperialism only where it is convenient here. I think there is a big difference between tampering in Britain's affairs with the colonies and tampering in the internal affairs of a nation. Britain and France and the Netherlands were imperial powers, Iraq is not.

If Lincoln had received aid from abroad, for example, he may not have issued the EP. One of his reasons for doing so was to free slaves so they could volunteer for the Union Army. 200,000 of them did so. With foreign aid, Lincoln may not have felt he could justify the EP and ultimately he may not have even suggested after the war that blacks be given the right to vote. John Wilkes Booth assasinated the president in reaction to things he said after the war in 1865, not in reaction to the EP (in 1863). On the opposite side, the case for aid to the rebellious states from foreign entities has obvious implications as it could have meant Union defeat and the destruction of the USA.

At the end of the Lincoln show, Gore Vidal was describing Lincoln's death and he actually began to cry. At first I thought he was just being dramatic, but it was real! How odd, to weep for someone who died sixty years before you were born.

The Lincoln episode will re-air on Saturday for those who missed it. I would also recommend an article in the current issue of Smithsonian Magazine about Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation. I've got a copy of the magazine with the full article if anyone wants to see it.

I was watching "The Matrix Reloaded" last night and I noted how in the scenes that took place in "Zion City" reflected the racial diversity that one might expect to see in the USA in the next 100 years. Most sci-fi movies are dominated by white actors so I found it interesting that the movie's creators had the foresight to include so many different and diverse actors. I say it all the time but here it is again, my favorite thing about living in the USA is the diversity. A lot of people are afraid of it, but I think increased diversity is the only way the USA will remain competitive in the face of growth in Asia, South America, and some day Africa.

The fact that the words "seven" and "heaven" rhyme is useful if you are a song writer.

If you want an easy, clean way to make omelets, go to Target and look in the cookware section for a Nordicware omelet tray. It is a plastic tray consisting of two semi-circular halves hinged so that it folds over. You mix your eggs and stuff and pour one half of the mix in each side. Microwave it for three or four minutes and out comes a tidy omelet. Easy.

I've been hauling scraps of wood out of my basement and burning it in a chiminea I've got on my front deck. This violates Minneapolis housing code. My house is clad in fiber-cement siding so I am not worried about it catching fire, and I keep an eye on things while it is burning. Anyway the fun part is that I cook kabobs or bison burgers over the flame. Somehow I get a kick out of burning parts of my house to make dinner. Most of the wood is miscellaneous stuff that I've pulled out during remodeling or 2x4's and boards that were used in the basement for shelves. The house is 90 years old so the wood is really dry. It flares up like paper when you put a match to it.

That reminds me, a couple of years ago there was a rental property in Minneapolis over by the U of MN that went up in flames. Three students died in the fire and the neighbors reported that they didn't know there was a fire until they started hearing windows breaking and screams of pain. That sounds so horrific. It got me to thinking, however, about how 100 years ago dying in a fire wasn't so unusual. Houses these days have fire detectors and flame-retardant materials and fire crews can make it to the scene much more quickly. An old house like mine would go up in flames pretty quickly, so I had expanding foam insulation blown into the walls and flame-proof fiber-cement siding installed. I have a monitored security system in place so if a fire does break out, the fire department will be notified the second the smoke alarms go off. My parents' house had a fire in it years ago while no one was home, but the family dog died of suffocation. That is a large part of why I am so careful of protecting against fire. The cause of the fire was spontaneous combustion of some rags my dad had used in finishing some of his woodworking pieces. There's another lesson, spread out chemical-soaked rags in a well-ventilated area or outside if possible.

I recently met this great woman. She was attractive, funny, and we had a lot in common. Then she flipped out on me. Since then I've gotten some really good advice from some unexpected friends. I don't think I've valued my friends as much as I should.

To those who helped me out, thank you. You know who you are.

In other bad news, I was unsuccessful in my second bid to acquire World Cup tickets. FIFA has a most complicated process in place for ordering tickets and I have applied twice and been denied. Today I applied for what they call the third phase lottery, and there is still a fourth phase after that. What a fukkin mess.

Toaster Troubles

What the hell is the problem with toasters these days? It used to be one would put something in a toaster and it would roast the shit out of it regardless of what the darkness setting was. Now it seems the new generation of toasters try to kiss the bread with golden goodness. The people designing toasters have been eating too much fukkin creme brulée. The new toasters try to be accommodating to everything from bread to pop tarts to bagels. So what you get in the end is a very long wait for your shit to pop up only to find that it hasn't been abused nearly as much as you need it to be. I think I am going to hang on to the 1970's Westinghouse model I inherited from my grandma for a while.

A few months ago when I was driving through northern Minnesota, I got an idea to make the image below. I know it is harsh and provocative, but I like the irony. I wish that if people really believe they are pro-life that they would apply it across the full spectrum of life. So after a few minutes in Photoshop I came up with this thing.

Today I spent a few hours at an allergy clinic, then a few at work, and then a short time at the off-leash dog park in Northeast Minneapolis. At the clinic, which was shared with a bone marrow transplant clinic and adjacent to a hospital, there were a lot of old people and people who have trouble getting around without the assistance of a device or another person. The staff and doctors were all very friendly and caring. The place had an air of routine business and people going about their daily lives. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for the people I saw who were in a lot of pain or discomfort.

At work, there was the usual mix of mistrust, people taking themselves too seriously, and people acting as caricatures of themselves. They all want to be good people and do good work, but they are ill-equipped and ill-supported by their superiors. I find it unfortunate that people must resort to suspicion and backstabbing because they feel threatened in their jobs, and it all ultimately is the fault of the leadership. The boss doesn't know how to deal with the problems so it creates more stress for everyone.

The people at the dog park are a more humble lot. They smile a lot and they love their dogs. They have nothing to give or lose. One does not see the stress of a job or a strained relationship in their expressions. The park is a stop along the way to their other things to do and they get along just fine.

Work people, meet hospital people, and try to be a little more like park people over there.

Travel Therapy

Traveling has a way of bringing one back to the things that are most important. Last summer I went on a road trip through Canada and around the great lakes. It was just me and my car for a week and a half. I crossed Canada along the north shore of Lake Superior, then went down through Michigan and south around Lake Erie, through Niagara to Toronto, and straight back through Michigan, across Lake Michigan on a carferry, to home in Minneapolis. As usual when I travel, seeing the city upon my return reminded me how much I appreciate the place in which I live. There is no better way to know how good you have it than to return home after a trip and see it with new perspective.

When I set out from Thunder Bay, Ontario on the second day of my trip, I experienced a feeling of invincibility. I had eight hours to go before I reached Sault St. Marie. The scenery was stunning, with amazing views I would only have expected to see along the ocean or in the mountains. I felt I was in control of my destiny and I could do anything I wanted to do.

In the end, 2005 turned out to be a bit of an off year for me. I felt like everything I had touched had turned to shit. People seemed to be conspiring to make me fail. Women were mean to me. I started to feel like I needed to do something to break free of the slump and get my mind working again. I did not want to lose the feeling I got from that road trip.

Shortly after I returned from the roadtrip, in early September, I thought about getting involved with a springer spaniel rescue program after reading about it on the internet. I thought about getting involved with charitable work in Africa after reading about Grassroot Soccer. I needed to do something to offset the terrible feeling of defeat that was creeping over me.

I've started planning my trip to Germany in June and that is something to look forward to. This past weekend I started work on some revisions to a web site I set up, blueskysoccer.com. And I initiated the process of setting up a not-for-profit company organized around that site with some friends, the purpose being promotion of soccer and hopefully some fundraising for Grassroot Soccer.

Sometimes it is hard to appreciate home when you are always there. I forget that I've got great friends and family who are behind me and I've got better living than most of the people in the world. Before I started traveling I was ignorantly blissful of my situation. Now I can barely get by unless I have a trip abroad to look forward to. I wish I could experience the feeling of coming home every day.

The Second Ammendment

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

How would the second ammendment to our consitution (that's it in its entirety above) apply to what is going on in Iraq? What the media refer to as insurgents and the Kurdish militia that are cooperating with the US and Iraqi militaries would probably enjoy some protection under our second amendment. Yet the insurgents are, in the words of the president, people who hate freedom and liberty. Meanwhile the Kurds, who have desires to establish a state of their own, are cooperating in the military effort because they realize it will help them establish legitimacy and gain power.

The fact is, the insurgent groups would have the right to use arms to fight a foreign occupying force such as the USA if they were governed by our constitution. Ironically, we are trying to spread our values of freedom to the Middle East but the widely held view is that the insurgents are misguided and opposed to democracy.

The Kurds operate semi-autonomously in the northern part of Iraq. They provide for their own military security.

Both the insurgents and the Kurds have rights to participation in Iraqi democracy. The fighting that is taking place there is in effect a civil war. The insurgents are not like some bumblefuck militia in Montana. They obviously have enough power and numbers to warrant regular media attention and influence public opinion both negatively and positively. As difficult as it may be for the US to withdraw and let the Iraqis work things out on their own, this is a question of democracy that they must work out without US imperialism in the way. If we want to export our values of freedom, we must start by honoring them ourselves.