Auf Wiedersehen, Deutschland!

I just got back from two and a half weeks in Germany, so I've got a fresh bunch of ideas that I'll be posting here in the next week or two. Most of them are centered around critiques of Germany, airlines, and the 2006 World Cup.

I contracted a cold on Monday or Tuesday and it unfortunately peaked on Wednesday, when I had 10 hours of flights ahead of me. During the descent into New York JFK airport, my sinuses were clogged and my ears wouldn't pop. The pressure in my head was agonizing. It felt like someone was stabbing pencils into my forehead, but from the inside.

For those who don't know, humans have four sets of sinuses. There is a good diagram of them on this page. I guess with the nasal congestion from my cold the whole pressure adjustment thing wasn't working out. On the ground, my ears still hadn't popped and I couldn't hear too well. On the second flight to Minneapolis, the ascent was relieving because the pressure in my head was still set for 20,000 feet. The descent was, again, an agonizing experience.

A day later and my ears still haven't cleared up. Hopefully things will clear out as my cold subsides and my sinuses clear up. Anyway, that is my story of travel hell.

So I come back from Germany to find that I have fewer rights than when I left. President Dickslap is furious that the media reported a story that the government has been searching a bank transactions database for clues to "fight terrorism." This issue is another gateway into the government invading the personal lives of its citizens. The definition of who is a terrorist is not something you look up in the dictionary, it is an arbitrary term that the government itself can define. Even more, the definition can change and it can be set after the fact. So, for example, you've been transferring money to a European account to pay for your secret rendezvous with Laura Bush and the President finds out through his terrorism searches after the fact, all he has to do is label you a terrorist and throw you in jail.

Our Bill of Rights exists to protect our rights from infringment by the goverment. The second amendment doesn't guarantee our right to carry a gun to defend against someone coming into our yard, it protects our right to bear arms to defend against the goverment. That might sound drastic, but there are plenty of examples in history where governments have used military force against their own citizens. That is supposedly one of the reasons we invaded Iraq, because Saddam Hussein gassed his own people back in 1987 when Reagan was president.

I call issues like this "gateway" issues because they offer a gateway into bigger, more invasive things. Ever since 9/11 the President has used gateway issues and fear to control people. He justifies violating human rights conventions, false wars, phone tapping, tax cuts, just about anything in the name of the war on terror. It is not that we need to back down and be soft on handling our problems, but the President and the Republicans have gone too far. The use of gateway issues to scare people into compliance is just a step away from fascism. If you've ever wondered how a government like Hitler's Third Reich can get away with something so crass and evil, here's your answer. It didn't happen over night. It started with small issues that seemed harmless to the public at large.

And what about those "fiscal conservatives" who are silent now about the huge money being spent on Iraq? Where are the advocates of tax cuts in the name of getting the government off our backs when it comes to phone tapping and bank transaction monitoring? The government is more of a problem in your life now than it was on September 10, 2001 even though your taxes are lower.

I shouldn't be so negative so close to the 4th of July. I've just gotten back from singing the national anthem at the top of my lungs in three German stadiums. Germany was great, but as with any trip abroad I always come back appreciating home more. I feel that being critical is the most patriotic thing one can do. It proves that you want to make things better.

Really, what set me off was a silly test I found on the blog of a dysfunctional chick I dated late last year. Shamefully, I read her blog once in a while because I find it interesting when I'm bored. I took the test and scored 34%. How ridiculous. Anyone who scores more than 50% on that thing has got to be a moron. I'll say it again, what makes America great is its diversity. Someone who scores 1% on that stupid test is just as American as someone who scores 100%.

Every year I try to kill my lawn, and every year it grows back.

I saw a funny bumper sticker the other day. It said, "guns don't kill people, people kill people." It's true, it is actually the people who possess the intent to kill, not the guns. I think the intent is that gun control laws should be outlawed and we should instead focus on outlawing people. I mean, if you outlaw guns they're just going to go and get a knife or something, right? And what's next, outlawing knives? How about poison, lead pipes, napalm, spears, battering rams, nuclear missles, cobras, cars, rabies, tall buildings, the President, and rocks? Are we going to outlaw those too?

Goddammit, "the point is mute" is improper vocabulary. The fucking word is "moot," as in, "the point is goddam moot."

Ever since the illegal immigration issue popped up I've had this feeling that it is another political scam. I couldn't put my finger on it though. It just seemed like another gay marriage type issue that was brought up for political gain. In the case of gay marriage, an institution that would affect some miniscule portion of our population, the issue seemingly came out of nowhere during the 2004 elections and was used by those on the right to divide and polarize people who otherwise might vote for their opponents.

Really, gay marriage, after the initial novelty effect, would affect, like, less than a million Americans. If the worst it can get is to have 100 gay couples in a city the size of San Francisco waiting in line to get a marriage license, it is not that bad. Now divorce, there's a real threat to the institution of marriage...

So now I think I've figured out what is fishy about the illigal immigration issue. It is the same deal, a meaningless issue that gets people mad enough to vote for fascist politicians.

Why are the politicians focusing on the southern border? Well, for starters I guess that is where the biggest problem lies. Mexico has a much larger population than Canada, and Mexicans are typically poorer than Canadians and therfore more likely to want to come to the USA seeking a better life.

Fuck that. If a dude wants to come to the US, all he has to do is buy a plane ticket, get a tourist visa stamp at customs, and then fucking stay here. A plane ticket may seem out of reach to the poorest of the poor, but someone who saves his money for a few years could pull it off. Is it that Mexicans are not smart enough to figure that out, or is the illegal border crossing thing the scapegoat issue here?

It is a matter of the path of least resistance. Mexicans are not dumb (sorry racist fuckers, it's true). While it may be easiest now to cross the border in Texas or Arizona, close the borders and people will figure out other ways to get in.

Go ahead and close the fucking borders. Show INS and FBI and ATF and Militia Men and hard working white guys and every other bona fide asshole patrolling in the desert on the evening news and the politicians who pulled it off will have themselves a re-election.

Remember the controversy about the terrorists who were crossing into Washington state from Canada? Oh shit, close the border crossings on the Canadian border! Meanwhile, guys from Mexico were walking across the desert unchecked. Why didn't anyone worry about terrorists coming in from Mexico then? If I were a terrorist looking to sneak bomb making materials into the US, especially if I had brown skin, I'd take my chances in Mexico before I'd try Canada. What a fucking scam.

People have been crossing the border from Mexico to the US for decades. Illegal immigration is another issue that has been brought up to divide people along ideological lines and get them to support politicians who are not otherwise viable. Xenophobes and racists will vote for politicians who will turn around and fuck them because the politicians passed some token legislation to send meatheads to patrol the Mexican border. Godammit people are dumb. Nothing will change, except politicians will take more freedoms away from us in the name of fighting terrorism and immigrants and gays and whichever other supposed threats they can shove into the spotlight.

Creative Block

I've had a creative block lately as I prepare for 18 days in Germany for the World Cup. I'll post some from Germany, though. I leave on the 10th and return on the 28th.